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Tip
of the Month: March 2008
Intensity, Disagreement, and Conflict all OK - but lose the Anger
Dear Friends,
The best in any position in any company at any level,
and I'm talking about the best, are tenaciously
focused on hitting goals. This mindset by its very nature
can create human combustion that exudes a whole lot of
intensity, disagreement, conflict, and oftentimes anger.
Intensity is good. Disagreement is good. Conflict is
good. While more difficult for some than others, there
is no room for anger. It can absolutely shred a team
- demoralize, de-motivate, distract, and if practiced on a reoccurring
basis, create disdain.
If you're a leader do your homework, ask pointed
questions and challenge the team, but do so with intensity
and your eye on the goal of making change, shaping behavior,
or making clear decisions. If there are differing opinions,
that is great. Engage in discussion that will re-set
strategy or challenge the current thinking. This is all
done to get to the truth and push an issue to a decision
point. If there are departments that are having tension
over strategic or tactical moves, then get in a room
and work out a compromise to the apparent conflict, and,
if conflict occurs during the meeting, it's OK.
In this case, conflict is good, because you are working
toward resolve.
But I caution all of us. The minute we throw "ANGER"
into the equation, people start shutting down. Anger
makes
it very personal. Anger causes a distraction from the
real purpose of a discussion. Anger creates walls between
people. Anger means a loss of control. And anger can
be hurtful.
I'm not saying don't get emotional, but give
me individuals and organizations that are intense, can
disagree, have conflict, and work toward resolve and
I'll show you a fighting winner. Insert anger and
you run the risk of alienating any real communication
and creating unhealthy fear in the work environment.
Angry outbursts can cloud thinking, deviate from true
purpose and burn through good individuals. Bottom line,
it can just plain tear teams wide open. Stay cool in
your quest for more, especially you over achieving animals.
I know who you are. All the best everyone. |
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